baby got book
This is one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time.
Just let your mind drift back to the soulful sounds of 1991 when Sir Mix-a-Lot dropped "Baby Got Back" upon us. Now you are ready for Dan Smith, a church planting/comedian/white-boy/dj, as he brings to us an updated version of a classic from my teenage years...
Baby Got Book
by: Dan Smith
Intro
Oh my goodness, Becky, look at her Bible
It is so big
She looks like one of those preacher guys girlfriends
But... you know... Who understands those preacher boys
They only talk to her because she looks like Mother Teresa, ok?
I mean her Bible... it's just so big
I can't believe it's so huge
Ugh! It gross!
Look, she's just so... righteous
Verse 1
I like big Bibles and I can not lie
You Christian brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a KJV
And a book mark in Proverbs
You get stoked
Got her name engraved
So you know that girl is saved
It looks like one of those large ones
With plenty o' space in the margins
Oh baby, I wanna read witcha
Cause your Bible's got pictures
My minister tried to console me
But that Book you got makes ("M-m-me so holy")
Ooh, momma-mia
You say you want koinonia
Well, bless me, bless me
And teach me about John Wesley
I saw her praying
While I was DJing
She got grace...pretty face
She ain't goin' down to the bad place
I'm tired of heathen guys
Sayin' they like pocket-size
Ask the average Christian to take a look
She's gotta pack much Book
So...Fellas (Yeah), fellas (Yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the Book (Oh yeah!)
Well, read it (Read it!), read it (Read it!), read that Holy Book
Baby got Book
Verse 2
I like 'em leather and bound
It's 50 pounds
I just can't understand
How it is, some weenie
Wants the Bible on CD
She wanna get you saved
Amen! Double up! A-men!
I ain't talkin' about a paraphrase
Cuz Paul wouldn't use those anyways
I like 'em real thick and red-lettered
You can't find nothin' better
Southpaw's in love
Bibles that big are unheard of
So I'm sittin' here thinkin' "What if...
I find me a girl that shows midriff?"
You can have those bimbos
I'll keep those chicks that do devos
A word to the Christian sistas
I can't resist ya
I'll do God's time witcha
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna pray
Til the break of day
Baby, got it goin' on
Like the wife in Pro-verbs 31
We just might get engaged
When we finish reading this page
Cuz it's worn and it's torn
And I know this girl's reborn
So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna save people from Hades (yeah)
Then read it...'til the pages fall out
Even white preachers got to shout
Baby got Book
Yeah baby
When it comes to a good book
Stephen King's resume just can't compare
39 + 27 = 66 books
And if you're Catholic...there's even more
Verse 3
So your girlfriend quotes Bill Hybels
But does she got a big Bible?
Cuz that little things she's got won't start a revival
My Bible study don't want none,
Unless you got Book, hun
...You can read Clancy or Grisham
But please don't loose this Book
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that Book's too old
So they toss it and burn it
And I pull up quick to just learn it
So your girl likes paperback?
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz my girlfriend's hot her Bible's rockin'
And she's got good doctrine
To the atheist chicks who try to dis
You ain't it Miss Priss
Give me a Christian, I'm insistin'
And I'll greet her with some holy kissin'
Some pervert tried to chase
But he didn't make it past first base
She's quick to resist temptation
And she loves a new translation
So ladies who were lost and found
If you want the triple-six thrown down
Dial 1-800-READS-A-LOT
And teach me about those Psalms
Baby got Book
Baby Got Book
Copyright 2004, Dan Smith
Just let your mind drift back to the soulful sounds of 1991 when Sir Mix-a-Lot dropped "Baby Got Back" upon us. Now you are ready for Dan Smith, a church planting/comedian/white-boy/dj, as he brings to us an updated version of a classic from my teenage years...
Baby Got Book
by: Dan Smith
Intro
Oh my goodness, Becky, look at her Bible
It is so big
She looks like one of those preacher guys girlfriends
But... you know... Who understands those preacher boys
They only talk to her because she looks like Mother Teresa, ok?
I mean her Bible... it's just so big
I can't believe it's so huge
Ugh! It gross!
Look, she's just so... righteous
Verse 1
I like big Bibles and I can not lie
You Christian brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a KJV
And a book mark in Proverbs
You get stoked
Got her name engraved
So you know that girl is saved
It looks like one of those large ones
With plenty o' space in the margins
Oh baby, I wanna read witcha
Cause your Bible's got pictures
My minister tried to console me
But that Book you got makes ("M-m-me so holy")
Ooh, momma-mia
You say you want koinonia
Well, bless me, bless me
And teach me about John Wesley
I saw her praying
While I was DJing
She got grace...pretty face
She ain't goin' down to the bad place
I'm tired of heathen guys
Sayin' they like pocket-size
Ask the average Christian to take a look
She's gotta pack much Book
So...Fellas (Yeah), fellas (Yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the Book (Oh yeah!)
Well, read it (Read it!), read it (Read it!), read that Holy Book
Baby got Book
Verse 2
I like 'em leather and bound
It's 50 pounds
I just can't understand
How it is, some weenie
Wants the Bible on CD
She wanna get you saved
Amen! Double up! A-men!
I ain't talkin' about a paraphrase
Cuz Paul wouldn't use those anyways
I like 'em real thick and red-lettered
You can't find nothin' better
Southpaw's in love
Bibles that big are unheard of
So I'm sittin' here thinkin' "What if...
I find me a girl that shows midriff?"
You can have those bimbos
I'll keep those chicks that do devos
A word to the Christian sistas
I can't resist ya
I'll do God's time witcha
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna pray
Til the break of day
Baby, got it goin' on
Like the wife in Pro-verbs 31
We just might get engaged
When we finish reading this page
Cuz it's worn and it's torn
And I know this girl's reborn
So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna save people from Hades (yeah)
Then read it...'til the pages fall out
Even white preachers got to shout
Baby got Book
Yeah baby
When it comes to a good book
Stephen King's resume just can't compare
39 + 27 = 66 books
And if you're Catholic...there's even more
Verse 3
So your girlfriend quotes Bill Hybels
But does she got a big Bible?
Cuz that little things she's got won't start a revival
My Bible study don't want none,
Unless you got Book, hun
...You can read Clancy or Grisham
But please don't loose this Book
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that Book's too old
So they toss it and burn it
And I pull up quick to just learn it
So your girl likes paperback?
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz my girlfriend's hot her Bible's rockin'
And she's got good doctrine
To the atheist chicks who try to dis
You ain't it Miss Priss
Give me a Christian, I'm insistin'
And I'll greet her with some holy kissin'
Some pervert tried to chase
But he didn't make it past first base
She's quick to resist temptation
And she loves a new translation
So ladies who were lost and found
If you want the triple-six thrown down
Dial 1-800-READS-A-LOT
And teach me about those Psalms
Baby got Book
Baby Got Book
Copyright 2004, Dan Smith
posted by Jason at 2:33 p.m.
6 Comments:
Jason,
that is the dumbest thing I have read in weeks. What is wrong with you man? Lets chritianize and baptize the bad song, so we can enjoy it? Come on dude, what's the point?
Jayson
I thought it was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time - just because it is so INCREDIBLY cliche. Just the idea that the ideal woman will be studying Proverbs 31 and "do devos" and "bible studies" is kind of offensive, but it was nonetheless very funny just for its kitsch value.
Man J that was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Thanks man. I almost rolled off my chair laughing when that girl said "Me soooo Holy"
If you look at this thing seriously it is a ridiculous "christianisation", I kind of saw it as a satirical look at many of cliché qualities that we often associate with "being" Christian.
I understand the intent but nonetheless see the damage it can cause. I guess I looked at it from the perspective of someone who isn't a follower of Jesus. In that case, I would have no idea what most of the cliche' means and I would feel like an outsider. To me, this song is just another example of evangelical circle drawing...
on the other hand, yeah, 'me so holy' made me laugh and I also almost fell out of my chair, but maybe it's because I like irrevence or maybe cause it was my day off and I was counting the minutes till my wife came home from work so we could thank God for the gift of marriage :)
peace
jayson
Gotta leave it to Jayson to bring a little "controversy" my microscopic portion of the blogosphere.
Keep bringing the smack bro!
Post a Comment
<< Home