finished my first practicum

Yesterday was my last day of my first summer semester at the U of L, with that came the end of my first practicum. Overall, things went very well. The teacher associate that I was observing was amazing in many ways, and the class was great too. I found it hard to get into the journaling portion of the course, but I was able to slog through the requirements and get the job done.

Today I had my interview with the prof who was facilitating the seminar sections of the course and supervising us in the field. I wasn't worried about the content of the interview, but I was thrown for a bit of a loop when I discovered just how it was going to be conducted. In each of the categories that were being evaluated I had to say what I thought I deserved in the course, and then the prof would put something different down if she disagreed. Man, did that ever take me out if my comfort zone! On more than one occasion she asked me why I was so hard on myself, and I guess I had never realized how much that is the case. When we were going through each one of the categories I was so afraid that I would rate myself higher than what the professor believed that I would 'play it safe' by picking a lower mark.

Maybe I shouldn't read too much into this, but I couldn't help but consider the deeper spiritual and emotional significance of what came out of that interview. What does my attitude about myself say about my self-image? Does this in any way give some kind of insight into unresolved issues of guilt?